During my entire career as a working-mother, I have been torn, pushed and pulled between my job as a mom and the one that earned me a paycheck. For so long I wished I could afford to be a stay-at-home mom, more

There I stood, frozen in indecision facing a sale rack at Macy’s, as 20-percent-off coupons burned a hole in my pocket and my generous sister urged me to pick out something nice for my birthday. Since taking the buyout, I hadn’t bought any clothes because I didn’t know what I might need in my next job. more

Friends of mine who had left the newspaper in previous buyouts had warned me: Dealing with the unemployment bureaucracy can be a real hassle. My company even offered a meeting with unemployment benefits specialists to explain how to navigate the system. I took some notes, but smugly thought to myself, “How tough can it be? You fill out a form and money comes to you each week. What’s the big deal? more

In the first few weeks after I took the buyout, people would ask me, “Are you enjoying your time off?” I’d I tell them no, because I’m too nervous about finding another job in this terrible economy. I wasn’t on vacation. I wasn’t even going to lunch with friends. I’d spend each day glued to the computer, scanning job Web sites, hustling up and writing freelance assignments. I feel like a shark: I’ve got to keep moving to survive.

  more

During the four-weeks we had to decide whether to accept the newspaper’s buyout, employees huddled in hushed conversations weighing the pros and cons. I remember one reporter told me she was leaning pro, until a friend asked her, “Why would you fire yourself?” more

The day I left the newspaper where I’d worked for almost 25 years, I was so busy I didn’t have time to fall apart. more

The news came when I was out of the office. I had left early that day in late July, and the email announcement arrived late in the afternoon: My company was offering another buyout. more

Lately my daughter refuses to fall asleep without her cape. I will put her to bed only to hear maybe ten minutes later a little voice calling out for Super Zoey! Super Zoey! And so I creep into her bedroom in the dark and place the cape around her shoulders like Muhammad Ali's coach after a fight. Then, unlike Ali, she is down for the count, zonked more

In the course of interviewing for the full time, contract officer job, I had to call my job references. Remember the old boss to whom I cried (a.k.a. Old Boss #1)? He was one of them. Immediately, Old Boss #1 asked, “Do you really want to work full time?” Of course I’d prefer something flexible that paid enough to justify the expense of going back to work (emotional and financial [childcare and work clothes made after Y2K]). But Old Boss #1 was not prepared to offer that deal (at least not now).

  more

Here is no surprise: the full night’s rest did not un-pickle my dill pickle created by the really full time, really real job offer from the government agency. Onto Plan B: bother your husband and anyone else who happened to be in my bandwidth to discuss (and discuss and discuss again) whether to accept the job offer. more