The Penis Problem.
We have a serious problem in our house lately. I call it The Penis Problem. The Penis Problem began a few months ago, when my three year-old son, Davis,started wearing underwear. Freed from the restrictive, super absorbent polymers of his diaper, Davis’s penis had some lost time to make up for, and it didn’t waste a second. Within two days of being potty trained, Davis’s hand took up permanent residence down the front of his pants, as if it were an old person who’d decided to head south and retire, where it was warm. After another few days, however, Davis did away with pants entirely, preferring instead to spend hisdays in a shirt and nothing else. The Why We Must Wear Pants to School discussion became a part of ourmorning routine, like eating breakfast and brushing teeth.
The moment he gets home from school, however, the pants come off. And I really do mean the moment he gets home from school. He literally walks in the front door, and before he does anything else, he sits down in the foyer, flings off his shoes and socks, and with great relief, pulls off his pants and underwear and leaves it all in a little boy-pile by the front door. If you saw this, you’d think the pants weighed five hundred pounds and were made of metal, or lined with thumbtacks,maybe. With the Penis flapping in the wind, he then goes off and builds forts with the sofa pillows, plays Power Rangers, creates Lincoln Log behemoths, and practices skateboarding tricks. When he tires of all of this activity, he likes to just walk around and “twirl” himself. As in, "Davis, what are you doing with your penis right now?" "I’m twirling it, mama. I like it." ‘Kay.
In the last several days, he’s also discovered that his penis can do “tricks.” For example, when he woke up the other morning, he was screaming for me to come into his room. When I arrived, breathless and thinking something horrible had happened, I found him still in bed, his pajama pants casually lying on the floor. "Look mama!" He shouted, pointing at his morning erection, which, apparently, he’d never noticed before. "My penis got big;it can do magic tricks!" Or, like the other night, when I was getting him ready for bed, he discovered that he could make it look like “a hot dog” if he pushed it back so that it retracted into the skin, which he found to be enormously hilarious.
06.13.09
Oh boy, I can so relate to this. My daughter was a perpetual nudist (we called it tummy & Toes) as a preschooler and once proudly proclaimed to a stranger in the Target baby department that she didn't have two belly buttons, one of them was a vaginia. My second child never wanted to be naked (not even his toes) but was more than eager to teach his baby brother body parts--starting with the penis. Before he knew where is nose was, my youngest son knew his penis thanks to his brother's help and catchy song. Now, my youngest is 4yo and has a very hard rock song "written" by himself that talks all about his penis, his booty, and everything else he can move on his body. He performs for any guests in our home to his toy electric guitar, or even his accordian if he can't find the former. Body part fascination knows no limits, but I'd rather they have a healthy body image than ever be ashamed of what they look like anywhere. I'll live with the emall embarassments now, with the hope that in the future they will have the confidence to walk proudly into any situation and fell sure of themselves (clothed, of course)
04.29.08
i'm a mother of a 5 year old and he still likes too sleep with his mom.he loves his pants to be off diring the night and loves too play with his penis and my boyfriends too.he makes noises in the bed that sound like he is trying to get his penis.
04.28.08
every mom has their nudist. My 4 year old little girl likes to run around the house completely in the nude. and also my 6 year old boy has discovered that his penis is getting bigger and constantly asks his stepfather why that in the morning time his penis is bigger than usual...aka morning wood and my husband told him that it has to deal with going to the bathroom because it embarrased my husband to talk to him at that age.
04.27.08
Oooooh, what I have to look foreward too....=o) My son is about to turn 2, he is not yet potty trained. We just had friends staying with us from out of town, and Oh how he loves to run around naked! It's soo cute though, and our guests are good friends and thought he was darling....
I'm sure as he gets older he will go though the fascination faze too...
04.17.08
first of all, lighten up Elle- maybe you should enjoy a 3 martini playdate. Secondly- OMG! I was cracking up! My son is 4 and finds his penis to be "funny", and giggles when I wash him it in the bath, but has not become completely in love with it, YET. He does, however, refuse to wear anything but underwear when we are at home. Boxer briefs, preferably. We call him Captain Underpants. This time is one to look back at and laugh, an awesome right of passage as a little boy- right up there with peeing in the shrubs!!!
04.16.08
I love this post. I have a two lovely boys, the oldest just turned two years. Already he has an absolute fascination. Recently, he has been upgraded to training pants from diapers. This was with the hope that they would stay on and he would have more difficulty getting them off. NOPE! My little genius has figured out that the training pants can been torn away so he can continue his naked rampage (we are also enjoying the Terrifyingly Teriffic Terrible Twos), I guess that is what I get for marrying a man named Houdini (SERIOUSLY!)
I am just waiting for my youngest to discover that like his brother he has one and play with his own instead of constantly trying to grab his brother's while my husband and I fight to get the training pants back on.
04.09.08
As a "still-relatively-new" parent, who only grew up with one sister and no boys, I am finding CJ's endless comments and admiration of his body very amusing. Our discussions about his anatomy have become more frequent lately because of both his potty training and his bathtime with his little sister. So, out of curiosity, I stupidly asked Pete (yeah--I know I was setting myself up), "Are all little boys this preoccupied with their penises?" And, you know Pete so... you have to know that he didn't even miss a beat, when he said, "Until they die!"
So, here are some discussions I've had with CJ recently:
In the bathtub with his sister: "Ma-ee, Debi sad." Me: "Debi's not sad. Why would Debi be sad?" CJ: "Debi ha no penis! Debi sad!" Me: "CJ, Debi's not sad. Debi is a girl and you are a boy. A boy has a penis and a girl has a vagina." CJ: "Daddy ha a penis." Me: "Daddy & CJ are boys so, you both have a penis. Mommy & Debi are girls so, we both have a vagina." CJ, looking shocked: "Ma-ee don ha no penis?!!!" Me: "No CJ, Mommy is a girl." He pauses.. then looks at me almost crying, pats my shoulder and says: "Don be sad Ma-ee. You be okay!"
CJ is sitting on the potty chair, reading a book: "Ma-ee, penis is sad! Penis can't go pee-pee in da potty chair." Me: "Tell penis not to be sad. You'll go pee-pee in the potty chair soon." CJ: "Ma-ee, penis is happy now! Penis is so happy now! Say HI to penis, Ma-ee." I try to ignore him. CJ: "Ma-ee! Say HI to penis!" I look to see if Pete was within earshot and when I see he was not, I say: "Hi, penis!" CJ then, waves his penis at me and in a high voice says: "Hi, Ma-ee!!!" I couldn't hold back my laughter so, I had to leave the room!
I was helping CJ play with playdoh for the first time. I cut out a gingerbread man with a cookie cutter, made him eyes, a nose and a mouth, then told him that I just made CJ! CJ says: "Dat no CJ! Dat Debi!!!" Curious, I asked: "Why? Doesn't that look like CJ?" He said: "Dat got no penis! Dat Debi!" I didn't know what to say so, I just said: "Oh." Then he got excited and said: "I got idea!" He takes the nose off and puts it between the legs and says, "Dat better!!!"
03.23.08
I was laughing so hard after I followed this link from sk*rt... last summer, when we were on vacation visiting my father-in-law, he, my wife, and our 7yo son were watching a video on the upcoming Beijing Olympics. It featured some very graceful and pretty Chinese dancers (you've probably seen some of the amazing things they do on YouTube). I was in the kitchen drinking some water, when I overheard my son say, with some concern in his voice, "Mommy, my penis is getting hard..." - my wife exclaimed loudly in embarrassment, whereupon I rushed into the living room and quickly assured him, "Don't worry, there's nothing wrong with you, it'll go back to normal soon!" My father in law just chuckled.
03.23.08
I don't think you realize that on the internet NOTHING EVER GOES AWAY. Your son might *hate* you for this in 10 years. Discretion?
03.23.08
So funny! I have two boys and only one went through the PP. It turns out that he felt restricted by the 'tighty whitey's' so I bought those boxer briefs from Hanes. He wears them all the time now - with elastic waist pants so he has easy access to his penis when he's alone. I remember when my first was 8 weeks old and as I changed his diaper he had an erection. I called my mother (a nurse) and asked her if I was doing something wrong! Of course not, she answered, his body is just practicing. ICK! I'm not ready for that!